Twin Method - The Volume Of Self - Crash Music  2006
12 Songs
Running Time: 40:32 

Amid all the hoopla and verbal fellating of England's Twin Method on the band's bio sheet, the claim is made that the music and visual aspect will leave "a lasting impression". Funny thing about impressions, though; they can go either way. In this case, it took exactly twenty-one seconds for the overwhelming stench of "...And Yet Inside I'm Screaming" to send me stumbling to the Temple Of The Bathroom, paying homage to Latrine, Porcelain Recepticle God Of Feces And Vomit. It's a long title for a god, yes, but he's only invoked at the most necessary occasions...and this was one. For a band reportedly made up of fans of musics as diverse as Motley Crue, UK Drum & Bass, and Green Day (I know, 'nuff said, right?), you'd at least expect some level of originality, even if it happened by accident. In the case of Twin Method, though, what you get is some wankified mish-mash of Slipknot's "Wait And Bleed" and the complete and utter whinefest of Life Is Peachy, all tied up in a nice Linkin Park ribbon. Really, each song on The Volume Of Self is damn near interchangeable with any other. From the faux-controversial "Defeated", the lyrics of which simply scream "Waaaaaaaaaah!", to "All Becomes Clear", which bristles with all the anger and hatred of a bowl of Jello, Twin Method are a case study in everything that's been wrong with hard music ever since Korn replaced Kreator as the common populace's idea of Heavy Metal.

The crystal-clear production of Logan Mader (ex-Machine Head) is the only remotely redeeming quality here, I just can't imagine how his bullshit detector didn't fry itself when subjected to such obvious pablum as this. The Volume Of Shit, indeed. Send a year's supply of toilet paper to:

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