The Abombinable Iron Sloth - The Abominable Iron Sloth - Goodfellow Records 2006
Running Time: 26:47
Buried beneath an avalanche for ten thousand years, thawed by his worshippers, then becoming their eventual doom, the tale of The Abominable Iron Sloth is rife with blood and fury. What I fear, though, is that by taking the name of this mythical (?) beast, this band of California hardcore veterans may have just lent the evil the power it needs to survive and possibly overcome us all.
The ragged swagger of "Hats Made Of Veal And That New Car Scent" is half-Clutch, half-pirate song, and all badass. Behemoth riffs sway drunkenly as the band's namesake, bouncing off of kickdrum thud and snareshot as ravaged howls scream above the madness. I wondered where I was getting that feeling of deja vu from hearing the vocals in "I'd Rather Die Than Fly", then it hit me; Bloody Kev (Helvis), with a quarter-ounce of Will Haven shoved down his throat. Which is just as well, as the majority of The Abominable Iron Sloth does time in the latter band. "I Am The Carcass" is a lurching monster, dragging naked bodies and dead souls across the icefields of this creature's rebirth, and plodding its way into the punishing groove metal of "A Hot Pink Shell Of My Former Self". Backwoods roadhouse blues rears its hungover head for "Parasite Hilton And Other Flaws Inherent To Wealth", and "A Distant Pond From The Rivers Of Human Limelight" pounds out a sluggish stoner groove that would make Iron Monkey or Rue proud. TAIS keeps the groove machine rolling for "The Family That Slays Together Stays Together" before crashing headlong into the Southern (California) fried stomp of "Climax Of A Nightmare", this song and the previous spreading devastation and leaving unmarked graves in their wake. "Sailing To The Edge Of The Earth" sends the USS Iron Sloth careening over the world's end in a strangely subtle, but nonetheless effective instrumental finale.
With most of this self-titled beast moving at a steady crawl at its fastest, there really isn't a more accurate band name in the world for The Abominable Iron Sloth. Long and high strides the Megatherium across the glacial wastes...pray he never reaches you. A bonecrunching, spine-jarring monstrosity if ever there was one.